I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
