Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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