roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sext me about skeletons
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
