...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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