I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
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Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
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And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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