Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
