the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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