Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
