She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
