How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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