WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
