So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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