no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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