I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize