About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
