dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Acid is not a monday night drug
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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