You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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