Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
