I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
