But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
