I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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