He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
