wake up i wanna do it froggy style
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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