somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
