He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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