I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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