The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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