Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
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