it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
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I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
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threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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