Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I touched a dick in church today
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize