He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
