i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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