I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boobs speak an international language.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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