I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
