Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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