i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
