Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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