Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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