but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
