I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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