i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm jealous of your bromance
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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