she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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