he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
