Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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