woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
