Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
