Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
