I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize