I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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