Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
