FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
