can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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