is your mom at the bar?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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he fucked my hip out of place.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
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I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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