Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
