I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
