I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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