hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
