there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
