Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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