Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
