His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
