Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
